FRAGILE!!!

“Be careful with what you say and do, relationSHIPS are FRAGILE.” Unknown

I love the look of brightly painted, well-manicured fingernails and have always admired my aunt Dorothy’s nails.  Although she rarely wore polish, her natural nails were crisp white, long, and strong.  My fingernails, on the other hand, are an entirely different story. They have never grown to any length before breaking, so to achieve the look I desired, I wore acrylic and gel nails for years.  But, the Coronavirus changed that.  About two or three months into the pandemic, my gel nails started lifting, and eventually, I painfully ripped them off.  When they finally came off, my nails were paper thin.  It took weeks for my nail bed to get a hard exterior because they were extremely FRAGILE.  The word FRAGILE describes something that is delicate, easily broken, shattered, or damaged.  And as I began to ponder the definition of FRAGILE, I realized that relationSHIPS can be FRAGILE too.  What makes relationSHIPS FRAGILE? Are you in a FRAGILE relationSHIP? Can a FRAGILE relationSHIP be strengthened?  So for this week’s blog, let’s talk SHIP about FRAGILE relationSHIPS!!!

How do relationSHIPS become FRAGILE? RelationSHIPS are FRAGILE mostly because we often confuse love with some other feelings.   We treat relationSHIPS as casual conveniences because we want to have a mate. Someone to cuddle with, to talk to. They are FRAGILE because we take our mate for granted and think that we can get away with- a careless word or a disrespectful act– without repercussion. It becomes FRAGILE when we forget that our mate has feelings that get hurt too. But the main reason why they become FRAGILE is that we have unrealistic expectations of what a relationSHIP actually is.  Most think that a perfect relationSHIP is where we’re always happy, where there’s never any conflict, and that we’re perfectly matched with our mates.  That’s far from the truth and unless we let go of those far-fetched notions, our relationSHIPS will always be FRAGILE.

FRAGILE relationSHIPS can be avoided by managing our expectations. Like us, our mates will make mistakes too. So accepting that our mate is human will release any and all expectations of them being perfect. RelationSHIPS aren’t just about getting our way, and doing what we want to do. We have to consider what they want too. We must be willing to compromise. If sports is not your thing but it is theirs, watching a few games would be a great compromise. We can’t be so busy that there is no US time. We must be willing to slow our life down so that we can spend more time doing what’s truly important to you both as a couple. To avoid a stagnate and FRAGILE relationSHIP we must be willing to work at it. The truth is, love never comes easy, and great relationSHIPS don’t happen overnight.  They take a lot of hard work.

A strong and healthy relationSHIP must be nurtured.  It requires compromise, dedication, patience, and sacrifice.   A loving relationSHIP must have mutual trust, respect, and friendSHIP, if not, it’s FRAGILE and will eventually break. Knowing that relationSHIPS are FRAGILE, it’s much easier to protect it and to take care of it rather than trying to fix it after it’s broken into a million pieces. Is time better spent, gathering the broken pieces? I think NOT. Time is better spent on examining and modifying our actions. Checking our tongues, saying words of encouragement, spending time together, being thoughtful….. doing better, and being a better person in our relationSHIPS is the key to avoiding fragility.

Even though my nail salon has opened back up, I decided against getting my gel nails put back on.  Instead, I’m going to do everything I can to avoid them from becoming FRAGILE again. I am committed to doing the work. I’ll stop believing that they can’t and won’t and accept that they can and will grow. I’ll spend more time nurturing them, loving them, and being patient with their growth. And although my nails are not giving me that look I want yet, they will. Because much like a FRAGILE relationSHIP when patient, loved and nurtured, they too can be strengthened and can grow!!!

SHIP TALK: Is your relationSHIP FRAGILE?

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